Let me let it out.


Hubby provided love to us, his nuclear family by…

…working last night, then cooking breakfast before going to bed.

Here I am…I got ready, watched the solar eclipse, worked on Kylah’s party stuff, prepped the kids’ lunch… only for the kids to come back to me to say they don’t like it; it’s too spicy.

As a parent, it’s fucking frustrating to do so much for someone else only to get…”oh, I don’t like it.”

Have I just wasted my time and energy? Do I accept their truth? Do I assert my own? As a parent, do I give up my own freedoms for the unsureness of this growing generation?

As I have done to my own parents (and seen from others), I know (not for sure) my kids will do it to me, too. So why keep going? Just take away all their choice…it’ll be much simpler.

I don’t know where I’m going with this but today, I got a touch of challenge in “feeding my family,” – sometimes they don’t like what you cook. What do you do? How do you react?

The upside to today – I was able to catch the solar eclipse on NASA TV πŸ€“. One announcer called it “majestic,” I call it magical. A part of me wanted to call it scary but when I saw that “diamond ring” after the moon passed over the sun, I was moved to tears. I know if I was on a more elevated state, I would be sobbing πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

How I saw it was like this:

Humanity is moving towards darkness but we keep moving… slowly but surely, we keep moving…

In that movement, despite heading and living in darkness for a short while, little by little, light does come.

That “diamond ring” hits and YOU’RE STRONGLY ADVISED to protect your eyes, for that light is God, is STRONG, is MAJESTIC, is MAGICAL, is MOVING…

…and absolutely beautiful. 😚

The spectator just has to be awake to experience it. That’s all.

As it’s been taught to me:

“Don’t be caught sleeping”

at the Solar Eclipse, for you will miss the Beauty of God!

Excelsior!

πŸ’›Jenβ˜ΊπŸ•†

Politics

Conservative. Liberal. New Democratic…. Or Green Party…. and all the other smaller, not-so-popular political parties.

Now let me set a disclaimer. I am no political science educated individual. I am a regular citizen who has a family, is guided by a power higher than my ego :), and really would like to make Turtle Island the real land of Peace for my kids and the generations to follow. So…if any of the following information is incorrect please: 1. have patience and understanding and 2. make sure YOU know what you’re talkin’ about ;).

Anyway, politics.

Ever have to deal with family politics?!?!

I am dealing with one right now.

You see, I view our home as a country (that lives in this GREAT land called CANADA, formally known as Turtle Island). In our home, we’ve attempted to have “House Rules.” In compiling our House Rules, I consulted the citizens of our country as to what they’d like it to be. Each member came up with something. (Personally, to keep it simple, for my own poor memory, I’d stick with the 10 Commandments). Here, though, this is what we came up with:

2017-07-18-03-01-00

See, we’re not perfect. We’re not streamlined. We’re not organized. However, the idea to get there is there…which is hopeful.

Along with our home rules, we have a family motto. This is something myself and Hubby came up with during one of our many talks. This is something that we go to that represents us, that gives us purpose, that gives us the WHY we even do things in the first place….it’s that go-to when we have to make very, very challenging decisions like: should we go to this place or not, should we donate or not, should we invest our scarce resources or not, should we invite, welcome, and entertain certain people or not? It’s our go-to. For me, it’s a reminder of what we, as a family, as part of a GREATER and GRANDER FAMILY, stand for.

Now…politics, the political platform. It’s like house rules. It’s like code. It’s like gang initiation agreements. Or the Commandments. To be a part of a party, a gang, an organization, a family, members/participants are required and expected to understand, follow, and live by the rules. But what if your organization doesn’t know what it stands for? What if your family has no commandments? What if your party’s members can’t even communicate in an honest, a genuine, and a God-guided way? How do you progress and grow in a balanced and healthy way?

What am I trying to say?

When groups of people gather whether it be to earn money, to celebrate a special occasion/person, to complete a mission/project… it is VITAL to specify WHY and for WHOM?

For me, the only thing we need to gather and do things for is to…SERVE GOD’S PURPOSE.

I explained to cousin of ours (whom I had a very insightful talk with) that entering my 30s is like…nesting. I feel like I’m about to give birth and I’m preparing things for this baby’s arrival. I’m excited for what’s to come but understand there’s some scary shit and really hard decisions (and people) that I’ll have to face.

And…it’s true.

Without putting things too out there, to you my Reader, my baby is to SERVE GOD’S PURPOSE. I’m about to agree to things that countless others before me were not able to (and still not able to), denied (and still deny), and even refused (and continue to refuse). I’m about to put my ego aside…and stand for LOVE. (I’ll leave the ambiguity, ambiguous ;))

Big Cheers like bumpin’ BUDWEISER cans πŸ™‚

❀ Jen :)+

UPDATE: Thermea was just heavenly. I was able to spend QUALITY time with a dear Nerd πŸ™‚ As I told my girlfriend: to me, Thermea is as close to Heaven on Earth as I’ve found :). I’m lucky enough to have it in the city that I live in. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚
The Commons was brilliant and Godly (first words that came to mind). Hubby and I went for a run. We had a few brews with some Skinners. And… I was able to do some doodling. πŸ™‚

2017-07-18-03-01-44

So… to those who made it possible for these to happen: A BIG HUGE THANK YOU. And for those we missed… Thank You for the time and sorry we missed you, hope to catch you when the Power allows πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ For the messages: I appreciate the communication and I apologize to those I have yet to return correspondence with… πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Politics as many understand it…I’d rather spend my time Writing and Serving God’s Purpose. Here’s a good watch, thanks to C.H.:

Okay, really, CHEERS ’til the next time

❀ Jen :)+

Jen’s 30th-Year-of-Existence Celebration

It’s finally here.

 

My 30th.

 

Is it just me or does celebrating the 30th feel like the right thing to do?!

 

So where and when is it?

 

Because I understand it’s the summer and it’s been a very Good one so far…and people go away…and people make plans…and a week’s notice is often too late to commit attendance (for some people ;)), I have decided to stretch the activities of my birthday over a span of a week; starting July 16th (yes, I know, tomorrow :)) ’til the 23rd.

I remember in the past, whenever I heard about people celebrating their birthdays over a span of more than a day, I would think “what?! that’s ridiculous! that’s why it’s called a birthDAY…not a birthWEEK”. (I know, I know..)

I thought those things for some of the following reasons: 1. i believed not everyone can afford to do that and if you expect your guest to be present at all of it…that is not only ridiculous but inconsiderate; 2. i wasn’t informed.

So that is why I’m informing you…the main reason I am celebrating over a week is I’d like to have the greatest chance of being able to see you all (coz I know how challenging it is to get together these days, time-wise, money-wise, mood-wise, health-wise, or just-life-wise) during this personally special occasion without any of you “breaking the bank” πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ (coz, trust me, I understand :/ :)). I really hope we are able cross paths during the week πŸ™‚

 

Here are the “for-sure” activities:

Sunday, 16 July 2017. Thermea. 9AM-2PMish. First-time I’m gonna experience doing Yoga on a Yoga Mat outdoors (weather permitting) :). I’m excited πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

Monday, 17 July 2017. The Commons. Around 1:30PM for a couple hours maybe. Hubby and I try to go to The Commons on a weekly basis for our Date Days/”HQ Meetings” πŸ™‚ because it’s just so freakin’ awesome there! You have options for food and options for drinks and options for activities and options to stay or go πŸ™‚ So that’s where we’ll be.

Saturday, 22 July 2017 [My actual birthday! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ :)]. Multi-Location (let me explain). I have plans to walk/jog/run a 13.1 in the morning (like early in the morning), have the family and I attend a birthday party at the Children’s Museum, attend the evening mass at Church of the Rock or St. Mary’s Cathedral (haven’t decided yet), maybe a family dinner after, and then celebrate the rest of the night at a place that will help me Reset with a lot of you as I enter….

….The Game of (Adult) Womanhood πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

(I chose Reset because, again, it’s pure Awesome in there! How is it Awesome there? Because you have options! You can computer-game, you can x-box game, you can beer pong game, you can arcade game, or you can sit and drink, maybe you can dance, or eat or just sit there and take in all the lights…like the changing lights of their bar :O πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I know it’s quite a drive for some of you :/ so really… come if you can πŸ™‚ )

Sunday, 23 July 2017. St. Mary’s Cathedral. 11:30AM – 12:40PM. I would like to be present at church the following day. Period. (I really hope you help and not hinder it πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ Remember: The Game of (Respectable Adult) Womanhood πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ :)… I have children πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

 

So to answer what’s going on for my birthday? Here you have it:

SUNDAY July 16 – Thermea

MONDAY July 17 – The Commons

SATURDAY July 22 – Running somewhere, Children’s Museum, St. Mary’s Cathedral/Church of the Rock, Dinner somewhere, and Reset Interactive UltraLounge on Pembina

SUNDAY July 23 – St. Mary’s Cathedral

 

Note: THERE IS NO OBLIGATION FOR YOU TO ATTEND ALL OF THESE ACTIVITIES. Come if you’re able to or if you are compelled to. If I see you, that would be AWESOME!! If I don’t, I understand πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ really! πŸ™‚

 

Okay, that’s it. If you feel you need to contact Hubby or myself, feel free to do so. If not…

 

Hope to see you sooner πŸ™‚

 

Peace,

 

❀ Jen :)+

 

(PS…Excuse the grammatical or spelling errors…i’m lacking an editor atm ;))

 

 

Here’s Something…

A mentor of mine once shared a piece of advice his father shared with him. Now I share it with you:

Have something to do, have someone to love, and have something to look forward to.

From my understanding, it’s what keeps mental illness away.
Stay Balanced, Healthy, and Engaged, You Weirdos πŸ˜‰
πŸ’›Jenβ˜ΊπŸ•†

To Post or Not To Post?

Written By: Jen
30 Jan. 2017

I’ve got 18 minutes. I’d like to go over my thing about posting or not posting?
So as you have gathered (or not gathered), I am a parent. For myself it isn’t as easy as I’ve got something, I’ll just post it and not think twice, three, or four, or multiple times about it. Oh, I think about it…so much so I don’t post.
I leave at that.
I choose not to post because these are just some of the questions that I go through:
– Am I bragging?
– Is this appropriate?
– What will this say about me, my family, and my community?
– Can this be misinterpreted? And is this offensive?
– Is this worthwhile?
– If my kids read this or children that I teach or their families read this, what impact will it make?
– Is this me?
– Am I being true to my purpose? Does this serve my greater purpose?
– Does this contradict anything that I’ve said and done in the past that I may or may not have grown from?
– Can this be used against me and/or my family?

You get it…right?
These are just some of the questions; there’s more. And I’m sure there are even more that you’ve thought of.
Anyway, I think I’m getting to an age that sometimes… you just have to jump off that diving board and experience it (it’s way better than standing on the sideline, in regular clothes, with arms crossed, a frown on your face, and just watching…unless you find great joy in observation ;)).

At this point, or this time, at least, I choose to experience it and hope for the best.

 

In Jesus, I Trust!

 

Jen πŸ™‚

 

Note: If you know how I can get my actual signature on this thing and are willing to help me out (with no strings attached), lemme know; that would be just pure Awesomeness! Thanks!

I Write…

​Yes, I do. I write. In this case, I text?

Anyhow I’m not going to go into details about that. Simply, I am a writer. I am a Being who has so much to say but barely says anything…if that makes any sense.

I am inspired to write today. The Spirit has come down…this time it was through Neil Gaiman. 

Here I was this morning, in bed, procrastinating, as Coehelo describes he does, too, then I decide that I was going to watch the YouTube video of his speech. Never heard of him. I had no visual either. Just did it.

And…as a result, I write.

When did I first write?

I don’t know maybe when I was four or something. But to answer when I started journalling or had the urge to get whatever it was bugging me from the inside, out? It would have to be in November 2006. My sister, my Irish Twin (as we have been called), the one who I am the same age as for 22 days, had gifted me my very first Journal. I’ve refrained from calling it a diary because 1: its not pink and it is without a lock and key; and 2: calling it a diary is too girly for my taste. That was the start of (my 4-yr-old is throwing a major tantrum! Break…)

(Tantrum put out…back to writing)

Where was I?

When did I first start journalling? It was November of 2006. That first journal took eight months to fill. I know I have 1 notebook that took 7 years to fill (that’s a separate story though).

Why did I want to write?

Well, as I mentioned, during that time, there was something in my inside that wanted to come out. I was compelled to write.

That thing that wanted to come out was my experience seeing a young girl I went to school with, getting on the bus I was riding to University, pregnant. Now, I know … wow big deal. 

No, but this girl was young. She couldn’t have been done high school yet. I knew this because I was the same age as her older sister and the pregnant girl was younger than my younger sister. And I was raised quite conservatively. So seeing her was really tugging at my soul.

Anyway, I wanted to write because I had no one to talk to about the injustice I felt about “Kids Having Kids” which became the title of the article that spooked me from ever publishing my true opinion again. (That article was published in a local paper).

Ohh…the feedback I got from that article. I felt like a targeted lone ranger. Even my editor, I felt wasn’t as supportive as I expected him to be. Nonetheless, that was one of my why-I-started-to-write.

(Break again…cookies and milk time with the fam.)

(Back from Break…I could scroll up but I’m going to choose to continue from what I can see on my phone screen.)

(I can hear footsteps…it may be another Have-to-Attend-to…I hear the washroom fan and the toilet seat down and coughing in the washroom…indication of my 5-year-old brushing her teeth…yes I know πŸ™‚)

I write because I have something to say. I write because that’s how I was built. I write because…it is true to me.

I observe. I analyze. I imagine. I create. 

(Writing room door open…)

I write because… it is my form of Love.

….

Staring at this cursor thing blink, I ponder… what’s next?

I say…what’s next is yet to come :).

One goal this year is to finally get that courage back that was spooked out of me years ago…and that is to write HONESTLY, TRUTHFULLY (are those synonyms? Did I just repeat myself?) and because I LOVE. And…to PUBLISH.

I imagined that I was standing atop the highest diving board at Seven Oaks Pool or maybe even Pan Am Pool. I look down. Its a dark blue. It’s a lot scary. Like really a lot scary. Like why I am on the diving board anyway? I should turn around, climb back down, and call it a day…maybe never return.

I imagine I’m still standing there. Still scared.

But I could feel it.

It.

The feeling that I can do it. I can jump. I’ve got what it takes. I’ve always had it.

I will jump.

I look down once more.

I back up to the end of the board.

I say my prayers.

I run.

Hold my Breath…and…
Leap.
My SMART Writing Goal for 2017:

PUBLISH 1 BLOG POST between the 18th and 22nd of EVERY MONTH for THIS YEAR.
Cheers, Hi-Five, SaludΓ© to what’s to come in 2017!
πŸ’›Jenβ˜ΊπŸ•†
(This was written especially for you, Reader, Explorer, Inquisitive Being, or even, Mr./Ms. Forgetful, on the 18th of January 2017.)

oH yOu Wont undErstand :)

My One-Year Social Media Detox

 

 

Hi.

It’s been awhile…

If you haven’t noticed, I like saying that line “It`s been awhile.“ Because if you haven`t noticed, I like disappearing for awhile and I also like returning. I like staying quiet and then coming back to say something. I like doing that. I`m pretty sure I was built like that. So… if I`ve somehow offended anyone with my lack of presence or my silence, I really do apologize. I aim to inform, to enlighten, to excite, to inspire…to do God`s work the best way I can with what I have and what I know. So sorry… πŸ™‚

Anyway (another one of my Go-To……………………………………………………………………..

sorry got side-tracked…as I usually do…excuse me. πŸ™‚

 

I am sitting here……and I am suddenly lost for words……

What do I mean about “My One-Year Social Media Detox“

Well, to keep it short, one year ago I decided to close down my IG account as well as deactivate my FB account (this one I need to elaborate more later).

What (Insert Question Mark)

Last year on my Hubby`s birthday I decided to stay off of my social media accounts. I took a social media detox.

Why Β (Insert Question Mark)

Because I didn`t like what I noticed that was happening to me. I didn`t like who and what I was becoming. I didn`t like what was happening at home. And lastly, I was compelled to.

What was happening (Insert Question Mark)

Well…I was caring too much about others…their homes, their work, their kids, their stuff, their status, their…life. I was caring too much about other peoples shit. Then I started , without me really noticing it, measuring myself up to what I was seeing and knowing online. In Biblical terms, I think I was biting too many ^Appl*s^ from the Internet Tree.

How did it goÉ

IT WAS FUCKING HARD. Coz then I was asking others to show me things from their accounts. And I then, I`m kinda getting embarrassed about this…I started googling things to see if I can access peoples accounts from there. And other things that i don`t remember at theΒ  moment…

Was it beneficial

Yes. It sure fucking was beneficial.

 

Why and or how

Well I wasn`t getting messages from “`family“ halfway across the world about some person needing money and shit like that. Dont get it twisted…I like helping…but only when I can. I love my family in the other half of the world. I just am not capable at the moment to help with a debut of a daughter of a 1st cousin of mine on my mothers side who I`ve only seen twice in my almost 3 decade life! I didn`t have to see certain people face ….any way the most beneficial thing that I experience from this detox was…I FOUND GOD…again πŸ™‚

 

 

I`ve got Bob Marley – One Love in the background. So Gooood…

 

So.. I think this where I`ll end it. I wanna wish my Hubby a Happy Happy Happy Birthday (He knows ;)). If you have any questions about my experience not being on the IG or FB, you can email me at smileyfacelifebyjen”gmail.comΒ  (I don`t have one of those cool professional emails yet…Ill get one as soon as I learn how to do it and have the budget to ;)). Yes you can email me…but please don`t think I`ll get back to you at that instant. ..I`ll get to you when I can…and maybe even never…just know

 

How things are, are how things are! —- from the wisdom of the cow in Babe the pig movie πŸ™‚

 

Anyway, I`d like to thank you for your time. You are awesomely dawesomely!! Sorry if I offended you in anyway…I`m sure I didn`t mean to. πŸ™‚

See you next time…or more like… write you next time.

 

May God Be With All of Us…Always,

 

___jen___

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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